If there is one truism I like to live by it is the one that we do indeed live by choice. Even if we do nothing, that is choice, a decision to not act. However, there is one requirement if this is to be held true... in order to make a choice we must be aware of what are the choices. We must also live with the fact that that the choice we make may not give us absolutely what we want. Compromise, negotiation and as Ennis says in Annie Proulx's short story, Brokeback Mountain —
Sometimes life is not fair and sometimes there is nothing you can do about
it. In these circumstances it is probably better to get on with
the best of the situation rather than regretting, worrying and fretting
about it. This may not be what you want to hear...
An important step in setting boundaries is to have a sense of choice... it is my decision to choose to get out of bed on Monday mornings and go to work. When I say — I have to get up and go to work, I am giving my power to my boss. By claiming that I am making that decision of my own free will, I am empowering myself, showing that I love and respect my own decision making.
When I make that decision to do whatever it is I do decide, I can no longer blame anyone else for me "having to do" something... I am no longer a victim of someone else's will, I can only be angry at myself for making what I may consider a wrong decision. Of course, I do decide to go to work because I prefer to have the advantages of an income over living in a park. I have compromised, negotiated and I am standing what I can't change, or don't want to change. I have made my choice.
Philip Johnson operates the choosingchange clinic at 147 King Street, Sydney CBD.
choosingchange , Counselling Sydney CBD, Relationship Psychotherapy Sydney, Smart Couples... serving the Sydney CBD and the Eastern Suburbs and North Sydney — including Surry Hills, Bondi Junction, Darling Point, Woollahra, Edgecliff, Kings Cross, Double Bay, Paddington, Paddington, Potts Point, Darlinghurst, Central, Broadway, Chippendale, Ultimo, Pyrmont, Redfern, North Sydney, Lavender Bay, McMahons Point. For more information Contact.
© 2000-2010 choosingchange.com.au Philip Johnson BCHC
MCAPA ID.3219, PACFA Reg. 20611 ABN 82 155 376 909
choosingchange BN98082992 | Counselling Sydney CBD BN98313761
Relationship Psychotherapy Sydney BN98331295 | Smart Couples BN98331304