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NOTHING new under the sun...

If there is one truism I like to live by it is the one that we do indeed live by choice. Even if we do nothing, that is choice, a decision to not act. However, there is one requirement if this is to be held true... in order to make a choice we must be aware of what are the choices. We must also live with the fact that that the choice we make may not give us absolutely what we want. Compromise, negotiation and as Ennis says in Annie Proulx's short story, Brokeback Mountain —

"There was some open space between what he knew and what he tried to believe, but nothing could be done about it, and if you can't fix it, you've got to stand it."

Heath Ledger and Jake Gyllenhaal — Brokeback Mountain

Sometimes life is not fair and sometimes there is nothing you can do about it. In these circumstances it is probably better to get on with
the best of the situation rather than regretting, worrying and fretting about it. This may not be what you want to hear...

... unless you want be a victim ...

An important step in setting boundaries is to have a sense of choice... it is my decision to choose to get out of bed on Monday mornings and go to work. When I say — I have to get up and go to work, I am giving my power to my boss. By claiming that I am making that decision of my own free will, I am empowering myself, showing that I love and respect my own decision making.

When I make that decision to do whatever it is I do decide, I can no longer blame anyone else for me "having to do" something... I am no longer a victim of someone else's will, I can only be angry at myself for making what I may consider a wrong decision. Of course, I do decide to go to work because I prefer to have the advantages of an income over living in a park. I have compromised, negotiated and I am standing what I can't change, or don't want to change. I have made my choice.

... rediscovering what you already know ...

• Thinking of making changes in your life
• Different people want and need different ways of changing
• t is important for you to find "the fit" that suits you best
• Changes in your life occur because you want them to happen