Sometimes people are looking for an understanding that will enable them to cope with retrenchment or a personal loss (death or estrangement). Some come because they are stuck and want to find a way to continue in their relationship.
The focus in counselling is often on a single issue that is troubling an individual, couple, family or group (organisation). Many people turn to counsellors initially because they are recommended by a friend or doctor. How to find a counsellor who will help you can be difficult. After talking to your counsellor for a while ask questions about how the sessions will proceed, how many sessions. Find out if this the right place for you to be... a good counsellor will give you options, including other people he or she recommends.
Counselling is usually considered for the following issues, although this not a definitive list and sometimes your counsellor will refer you to another specialist if they think it will help you.
Psychotherapy narrows the focus. Where issues are well entrenched your counsellor or psychotherapist will endeavours to help you see traits that might have a strong influence on you and be effecting your behaviour or sense of being. Psychotherapy may require a longer or more comprehensive therapy approach.
Coaching helps client's identify and prioritise ambitions or goals. By identifying what it is they want, the client can formulate a process to obtain the goals and develop an enthusiastic but realistic plan of action.
It is not the coach's job to provide inspiration (although generally coaches and mentors are inspirational by their nature and method of working) but to provide the where-with-all to find or make your own inspiration. This is an important issue for the client.
Clients of coaching need to be able to carry on long after their professional consultations are finished and do not want be dependant on another person for successful completion of their plans and goals.
Coaching is usually offered through a series of meetings or sessions (around six) where the ground work is achieved and a plan is made. After those first sessions the client will execute the strategies already mapped, returning for a few top-up sessions in a few months. Between the six sessions and the follow-up sessions in later months client and coach might talk on the 'phone or email each other.
Coaching is appropriate for —
Mentoring provides people who are enthused with a longer term program. The initial sessions will attempt to establish a long term goal for the program and find an appropriate person who can act as Mentor. The Mentor will then take over and allow the client to consult him/her over long period of time (usually a year) while the client is putting the action plan into ... action. Sometimes the set-up sessions for coaching and mentoring can identify people in the client's immediate family or friendship circle who can offer excellent advice and support at very little cost.
Mentoring is helpful where
Individual counselling is often the first step toward making changes in your life. Whatever brings you to counselling you will find friendly and helpful counsel toward helping you find some resolution or understanding of your issues. How far sessions look deeply into the psyche of the person depend on the issues and the person.. Early in the sessions an agreement is usually made about:
In some cases clients move into more depth or longer-term therapy using various psychotherapeutic modalities. Sometimes it is the other way around. Each person has different needs and wants. Therapists (counsellors and psychotherapists) are trained to differentiate and offer clients the best available service for the client's needs.
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Marriage counselling brings to relationships a climate of reconciliation when things start going wrong. Most relationships start out with the highest hopes for a bright and prosperous future. Along the way obstacles to the couple's goals cam make things difficult. One issue that brings discord to marriages is children. Another is the extra-marital affair.
Couple support and counsel within a climate of individual coaching is helpful to engender a spirit of enquiry, to bring about a raft of strategies that you can take away with you and use for the rest of your life. These are not new ideas but ideas that will make a huge difference if you are willing to explore them.
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Couples seek premarital counselling to ensure a solid foundation for their relationship. Pre-empting issues helps the couple (whether in a marriage or de-facto relationship) to move more easily from the "limerance" or honeymoon stage to a more substantial relationship. In early relationship stages there is often much "going along with the partner" in order to keep the relationship going or to be pleasing.
Most people want to be loved or liked (isn't that all of us) and most of us do things to make the other person happy, so that we will be liked. Problems arise when we are not primarily making ourselves happy. Counselling can help couples identify the real reasons why they want to be together.
Becoming aware, being mindful and being alert to issues allows early resolution and establishes a pattern that can last the entire relationship.
Living authentically: People in long lasting relationships often refer to the openness between partners being the critical ingredient.
In order for to really know anyone else you need to be sure of your beliefs and feel safe enough to share them. These ways of being are skills that assist you in your intimate relationships, your family relationships and in the workplace.
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Premarriage sessions
Three sessions of 90 minutes First session is gathering information about your
- communication styles
- relationship skills inter- & intra-personal skills
- expectations, individual/joint
- family background family influences
Subsequent two sessions focus on areas you wish to improve or have more knowledge of... conflict resolution, handling changes (children, family, deaths), differentiation of self (the push and pull of being together and being separate), understanding effect of different core values, coming to terms with strengths and weaknesses in relating of yourself and your partner.
These and more issues you may bring to the discussions all contribute to you having a strong relationship where you are heard and you can hear each other and thus are able to perpetuate a long lasting and successful marriage.
Marriage, or any long-term relationship commitment, can be a most rewarding journey. Premarital counselling helps to build a secure footing for this critical aspect of your life.
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Counselling gay and lesbian individuals and couples sometimes requires specialised information and experience. While all adolescents are facing developmental issues, where homosexually oriented youth have special needs. Indeed, anyone questioning their sexuality require careful counselling from counsellors and therapist who are experienced in this area.
Counsellors may need to come to terms with their own feelings and reactions to homosexuality and have processes to enact when talking with people having issues with
and have the skills to deal with clients who are facing ridicule, contempt and prejudice from their peer groups and families.
Philip Johnson operates the choosingchange clinic at 147 King Street, Sydney CBD.
choosingchange , Counselling Sydney CBD, Relationship Psychotherapy Sydney, Smart Couples... serving the Sydney CBD and the Eastern Suburbs and North Sydney — including Surry Hills, Bondi Junction, Darling Point, Woollahra, Edgecliff, Kings Cross, Double Bay, Paddington, Paddington, Potts Point, Darlinghurst, Central, Broadway, Chippendale, Ultimo, Pyrmont, Redfern, North Sydney, Lavender Bay, McMahons Point. For more information Contact.
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