When we learn to find success or satisfaction in the events that we are experiencing "here-and-now" there is a marked lowering of anxiety levels and increase in satisfaction, not only of the current experience... but also how we understand or feel about past events and (anticipating) the future.
Therapy allows you to practise living in the moment, seeing the advantages of this kind of understanding of our life process. When you can experience your own feelings and behaviours in the here-and-now, when you can use mindfulness to stay in that time and enjoy it, you will be able to interpret things differently.
In the various stages of therapy (in the here-and-now modality) the therapist will bring to the attention of the client the various ways he or she is interpreting things, acting out, sounding, tone of voice, mannerisms and so-on... enabling the client to experience themselves, in the moment, and the consequences of their-selves in the room.
This method can be immediately appreciated by the client, who may never have been told how they are being experienced by other people.
Over time it is the moment we are living that becomes the focus of our attention and therefore bringing into play the mindfulness aspect of therapy.
Mindfulness allows us to go out into the world and appreciate all the millions of moments rather than worrying about what was and what might be.
This is not to deny the beautiful times I dream (realistically) of what might have been or indeed what might be. But dreaming and complaining are different to planning and lamenting. And how easy is it to be disappointed in something or someone and and end up moaning and grieving. (N.B.: Dreaming and planning REALISTICALLY means to be aware of the steps I may need to take to fulfil my dreams.)
Therapy, counselling, talking with a caring and knowledgeable person, can help to change this way of thinking (which I believe ends up "a way of being" in the world). Over time the habit is automatic and the brain immediately begins processing this manner of being — an unhelpful manner of being in the world.
Learning to appreciate the here-and-now of our lives can dramatically change our outlook. Imagine never feeling bad or guilty about past events! Imagine looking forward to every day when you go to bed at night and wake up in the morning!
Well, this is living in the here-and-now. Love the One You're With" is a 1970 single by folk rocker Stephen Stills and these lyrics somewhat sums up this philosophy I am alluding to living in the-here-and-now.
If we could learn to love the moments we have we could be happy and content, or at least OK with whatever happens. And I reckon that OK is better than being miserable and worrying endlessly about what might have been and what might be.
Philip Johnson operates the
choosingchange
clinic from 147 King Street,
Sydney CBD.
choosingchange
, Counselling Sydney CBD,
Relationship Psychotherapy Sydney, Smart Couples... serving the Sydney CBD and the
Eastern Suburbs and North Sydney — including Surry Hills, Bondi
Junction, Darling Point, Woollahra, Edgecliff,
Kings Cross, Double Bay, Paddington, Paddington, Potts Point, Darlinghurst,
Central, Broadway, Chippendale, Ultimo, Pyrmont, Redfern, North Sydney,
Lavender Bay, McMahons Point. For more information
Contact.

Suite 510, Level 5
147 King Street
Sydney CBD NSW 2000
Between Pitt
& Castlereagh Streets
Opposite MLC Center
Minutes from Town Hall,
Martin Place and Wynyard
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Love The One You're With Lyrics
There's a Rose
In a fisted Glove
And the eagle flies with the dove
And if you can't be with the one you love
It's alright
Go ahead and love the one, love the one, love the one your
with
Love the one, love the one, love the one your withIf your guy can't come to you
And you don't remember who your talking to
Your concentration slips away
Because your baby, she is so so far awayAnd there's a rose in a fisted glove
And the eagle flies with the dove
And if you cant be with the one you love
Love the one your with
Don't be angry
Don't be sad
Don't sit cryin' for good times you had
There's a girl right next to you
And she's waiting for something to do
Do it, Do it, Do it
Turn your heartache into joy
She's a girl and you're a boy
Get together, make it tonight,
You ain't gonna need no more advice
Just love the one your with_________________