About Us

Why see a counsellor?

How we work…   How Phil Works…

You will know when you are ready to see a counsellor.

“The person is pretty much what he says he is.” (Hall & Lindzey, 1966, p.498)

Do you feel that you would like to —

• have a greater working relationship with your colleagues
• to make your personal relations more rewarding, smoother
• to embrace your close friends but find yourself drawing away?
• to make great friends with the people you meet?

Depending on what things you want to talk about will result in the kind of help provided. Most people like to learn assertiveness skills and like to feel a greater sense of self.

Counselling can help all kinds of issues. Sometimes people want behaviour changes; others like to delve into the meaning of life. In many cases re-telling the stories we have been told (or have we have been telling ourselves over many years) can make significant changes to how we feel about our future and ourselves.

Many families have patterns of behaviour that have negative outcomes for all members of the family… from great-grandmothers to tiny babies. Family therapy is helpful here and this can be carried out with individuals, couples or whole families.

Finding a way of having choices is the key to having a satisfying, fulfilling and rewarding life

The counselling I offer is mainly directed toward —

• Marriage or relationship strengths and weaknesses
• Self Assertiveness
• Individual, couple and family issues
• Grief and Loss
• Life Coaching for exams and goal achievement
• Addictions — gambling, drinking, other drugs, sex
• Gay and Lesbian individual self-esteem and relationships
• Sexuality and gender issues
• Gender roles

Counselling can help you find out how to make choices

If you find things you want unattainable what do you say to yourself? Some people have a belief that they will never succeed and so expect failure. They see failure at every turn.

Turning these thought patterns around so the expectation is success makes huge differences to their lives.

Counselling and psychotherapy can start this process and teach you to do this yourself.

The way people act is often the way they expect themselves to act. As children we assume things we are told by our parents are true. Only years later do we discover that there are other realities.

Are some of your ideas about people and life mistaken beliefs?

• Wanting to understand what your partner is saying and wanting your partner to understand you is crucial to getting on.
• Check out if they have really heard you when you speak to people. Repeat back what you think you heard when other people speak to you. Clarity is everything.
• Thinking irrationally can lead to irrational behaviour.
• People do not always do what we want.
• Learning how to cope with our unfulfilled expectations can make a difference to you outcomes and your

Why see a counsellor?

• You will know when you are ready to see a counsellor.
  “The person is pretty much what he says he is.” (Hall & Lindzey, 1966, p.498)
• Do you feel that you would like to —
• have a greater working relationship with your colleagues
• to make your personal relations more rewarding, smoother
• to embrace your close friends but find yourself drawing away?
• to make great friends with the people you meet?
• Depending on what things you want to talk about will result in the kind of help provided. Most people like to learn assertiveness skills and like to feel a greater sense of self.
• Counselling can help all kinds of issues. Sometimes people want behaviour changes; others like to delve into the meaning of life. In many cases re-telling the stories we have been told (or have we have been telling ourselves over many years) can make significant changes to how we feel about our future and ourselves.
• Many families have patterns of behaviour that have negative outcomes for all members of the family… from great-grandmothers to tiny babies. Family therapy is helpful here and this can be carried out with individuals, couples or whole families.

Finding a way of having choices is the key to having a satisfying, fulfilling and rewarding life

• The counselling I offer is mainly directed to —
• Marriage or relationship issues
• Self Assertiveness
• Individual, couple and family
• Grief and Loss
• Life Coaching for exams and goal achievement
• Addictions — gambling, drinking, other drugs, sex
• Gay and Lesbian individual self-esteem and relationships
•  Sexuality and gender issues
• Gender roles

Counselling can help you find out how to make choices

• If you find things you want unattainable what do you say to yourself? Some people have a belief that they will never succeed and so expect failure. They see failure at every turn.
• Turning these thought patterns around so the expectation is success makes huge differences to their lives.
• Counselling and psychotherapy can start this process and teach you to do this yourself.
• The way people act is often the way they expect themselves to act. As children we assume things we are told by our parents are true. Only years later do we discover that there are other realities.

Are some of your ideas about people and life mistaken beliefs?

• Wanting to understand what your partner is saying and wanting your partner to understand you is crucial to getting on.
• Check out if they have really heard you when you speak to people. Repeat back what you think you heard when other people speak to you. Clarity is everything.
• Thinking irrationally can lead to irrational behaviour.
• People do not always do what we want.
• Learning how to cope with our unfulfilled expectations can make a difference to you outcomes and your life satisfaction.
• All of us take on the expectations of society at large. Gay and Lesbian people can take on the expectations of society at large that are not appropriate. When they do this, heterosexist ideals can manifest unattainable goals, which can lead to despair.
• Internalised homophobia indirectly influences self-esteem.
• Couple therapy is designed to reintroduce integrity and intimacy into the relationship.
• This is manifested through involving both people in a caring, considerate appraisal of all aspects of marriage — romantic, psychological, physical, and spiritual.
• Being alone does not mean you need be lonely. Solitude can be a time for healing.
• Learning relaxation techniques, walking, yoga and other calming exercises can help in bringing understanding around aloneness.
• When you experience the feeling that being alone means you are unloved, unlovable or bad, I would urge you to challenge those feelings.
  Nine-times-out-of-ten you will find you have many loveable qualities, often obscured by your own negative thoughts and actions.

About Phil….