An exercise to help gain emotional intimacy
This exercise is designed to bring a better understanding and acceptance between you…. to help you reach out to your partner.
Try being accepting of your partner’s faults and inconstancies.
We are all unable to be perfect all the time.
When we are fault-finding your partner will have difficulty approaching you to show connection.
- Decide to spend some time just sitting in the comfort of each other.
- It is good to do this in a space that is neutral…a park or sit in a coffee shop together. Not necessarily speaking. Do this for 5 to 10 minutes.
- This is a time when you can just be with your partner expecting noting and not having to give anything… just being together.
- Develop the “idea” of this person sitting opposite you is a friend.
- A friend is someone who sees you truly.
- A friend has some understanding of how you feel.
- Intimacy is a shared emotion. Seeing things in a similar manner.
- When you have experienced a let down, a disappointment, a betrayal, sometimes it is very hard to learn to trust again.
- However, all relationships are based on trust.
- Taking a chance on love is a rewarding activity.
- Try just holding your partner’s hand for a short time.
- Take a chance to look your partner in the eyes, directly.
- Intimate connection can mean different things for a man and a woman.
- Discuss what the intimate connection can mean to you and let your partner take the same time to discuss this.
- Is it emotional only or is it also a physical thing for you?
- Try exchanging with your partner things that are important to you. Things you want to do. Say this in a manner that is exploratory rather than demanding… “I would like…. What would you like?
- Listen to what your partner is saying and listen to the whole story before breaking in with your contradictory ideas.
- Be easy-going in these conversations. It may take some time for you to express yourself intimately. And the same for your partner. Do not expect miracles in one day.
- We are geared to be cautious regarding intimacy and connection.
- Your primitive brain will always err on the side of fear and hesitation to keep you from danger.
- This is a necessary requirement to keep you safe.
- However, using your frontal lobes you are able to ascertain if the things your partner is saying and doing are ok and you will be ok and things will be ok… this is trust.
- Developing trust over time is key to successful intimacy in relationships.
- There are always mistakes going on around us.
- All-day-long people are saying and doing things that are causing havoc in our world.
- So. chances are you and your partner contribute to this.
- It does not mean that you mean to do it.
- Sometimes being tired and hungry can let the odd thing slip out that your partner or your friends deem offensive or rude.
- Try to be mindful of these moments.