Here and Now
TIME to switch on your brain
Is it time to start turning on your mind to the possibility of change.
Many people experiencing difficulties in their life find themselves focusing on past events or future events rather than enjoying NOW.
When we learn to find success or satisfaction in the events that we are experiencing “here-and-now” there is a marked lowering of anxiety levels and increase in satisfaction, not only of the current experience… but also how we understand or feel about past events and (anticipating) the future.
Therapy allows you to practise living in the moment, seeing the advantages of this kind of understanding of our life process. When you can experience your own feelings and behaviours in the here-and-now, when you can use mindfulness to stay in that time and enjoy it, you will be able to interpret things differently.
In the various stages of therapy (in the here-and-now modality) the therapist will bring to the attention of the client the various ways he or she is interpreting things, acting out, sounding, tone of voice, mannerisms and so-on… enabling the client to experience themselves, in the moment, and the consequences of their-selves in the room.
This method can be immediately appreciated by the client, who may never have been told how they are being experienced by other people.
Over time it is the moment we are living that becomes the focus of our attention and therefore bringing into play the mindfulness aspect of therapy.
Mindfulness allows us to go out into the world and appreciate all the millions of moments rather than worrying about what was and what might be.
This is not to deny the beautiful times I dream (realistically) of what might have been or indeed what might be. But dreaming and complaining are different to planning and lamenting. And how easy is it to be disappointed in something or someone and and end up moaning and grieving. (N.B.: Dreaming and planning REALISTICALLY means to be aware of the steps I may need to take to fulfil my dreams.)
The more we fall into this trap (moaning and grieving inappropriately) the easier it is to revert to this fuzzy kind of thinking that complicates and disappoints us.
Therapy, counselling, talking with a caring and knowledgeable person, can help to change this way of thinking (which I believe ends up “a way of being” in the world). Over time the habit is automatic and the brain immediately begins processing this manner of being — an unhelpful manner of being in the world.
Learning to appreciate the here-and-now of our lives can dramatically change our outlook. Imagine never feeling bad or guilty about past events! Imagine looking forward to every day when you go to bed at night and wake up in the morning!
Well, this is living in the here-and-now. Love the One You’re With” is a 1970 single by folk rocker Stephen Stills and these lyrics somewhat sums up this philosophy I am alluding to living in the-here-and-now.
If we could learn to love the moments we have we could be happy and content, or at least OK with whatever happens. And I reckon that OK is better than being miserable and worrying endlessly about what might have been and what might be.