During the counselling and coaching sessions we focus on ways to encourage change. You will contribute to this process. We will view the current situation, sometimes troubling and/or despairing, sometimes just uncomfortable, and find ways to move toward choice and possibility. This will lead to seeing things differently and help you begin to live hopefully toward the future.
How? By fostering confidence and by providing relevant and practical skills for living a fulfilling and productive life.
REact or ACT … react or respond
You are an active participant in fostering these changes. Your outlook will be different and that will lead to changes in your feelings, and you will automatically act differently. Rather that REact to feelings and impressions of old patterns, you will learn to ACT or respond in response to information gathered that is meaningful and in perspective. And it is because you choose change.
Trying to establish control over emotionally charged feelings and REactions is sometimes difficult. By coming to an understanding of these forces, by examining our emotional responses, we can start to influence how we behave. You will find these explorations rewarding because you will be a different person at the end.
I believe there is no end to this kind of exploration and that our work together is more about the journey. This may be a hackneyed expression, but it is possibly the most important hackneyed expression to keep in mind as we look back in order to live in the here-and-now and move forward.
Meaning and intent
This future-oriented therapy offers you an exciting way of living. The thought of ‘possibility’ is important if you are to consider change. What you make of life is directly influenced by the quality of your life. The quality of your life somewhat depends on your attitude toward coming to an understanding of the meaning of life. What do you mean your life to be? How are you making that happen? What is your intent?
Attitude and effect
Just as we can choose to ignore or respect our friend’s and colleague’s feelings, we can also choose to ignore or respect our own feelings. What attitude we take will be reflected in the quality, strength, support and joy in our relationships — with ourselves and with others. The effect will be directly influenced by the work you do.
At home and and at work
Personal and work relationships have similarities as well as significant differences, whether — friendship, work colleague, husband, wife, girl/boy friend, heterosexual, homosexual, bisexual, married or de-facto.
Recognising the similarities and differences, and what that can mean to you, can make a difference to your relationships. Premarital or pre-marriage counselling helps establish a firm grounding for a great relationship for many years ahead.
Why is happiness our most revered state? There is an expectation or tendency to expect our lives to be always successful, our relationships to be always fulfilling, our work to be always satisfying. Sometimes, these expectations are how we perceive other people to be and they become our expectations, even if they are not a correct fit.
I believe that there are many unsatisfying and depressing things going on in the world, and in our personal worlds. Unless we are prepared to accommodate these less than satisfactory elements we are going to be continually frustrated.
In order to enjoy this kind of empowered living you will learn how to embrace these elements, celebrate the intolerable, find truth in disharmony and know that some things are in your control, but not all of things… and that is OK.
I used to go out with an old friend for dinner. She would drive us all over Sydney to find interesting and cheap restaurants. But Louise was a worrier, and she drove me mad with her negative outlook. “We’ll never get a park!” she would exclaim before we even got in the car. I never gave it a thought. Not being a driver I never had to give it a thought. I was so used to getting on a bus or a train or a taxi and getting out at the nearest place to wherever I was going that parking was the LAST THING ON MY MIND.
What was on my mind was walking in the restaurant door starving and ready for a feed. The funny thing was, whenever I got into a car with Louise, we ALWAYS got a parking spot right outside the door of wherever we were going. (I think I was unconsciously creating my own reality… that is, without even knowing it I was putting into practice the kind of things I talk about in counselling.)
After a while Louise noticed we always got a park and would add to her “We’ll never get a park!” the cryptic statement.. “Of course, with you in the car……” and she would leave the sentence unfinished. I don’t see Louise any more but I’d love to know if she is any better at getting a park these days.