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Counselling Sydney CBD
Individual & Relationship Counselling & Psychotherapy

Counselling Services Sydney CBD
Psychotherapy Services Sydney CBD

Balancing feelings, ideas and actions through individual and relationship counselling that is effective, therapeutic and lasting.

Counselling and psychotherapy that works because it is individually tailored to suit your interests, perspectives and needs.

How do you operate now?
Is it effective?
Are there other ways of doing things?

Counselling Services
and Relationship Psychotherapist Services, (Couple Counsellor) to help bring psychological awareness that is —

• enlightening and transforming, for
• living better, and
• relating more effectively,
• using psychology of change, and
• the art of possibility in order
• to enhance existing abilities, and
• to introduce alternative, and
• proactive ways, to
• encourage choosing change.

counselling couples and individuals with Care and Solutions without drugs and without judgmental diagnosis. Call me to discuss if you are feeling depressed or having difficulties.

Talking to someone just may be the answer to help you understand  and/or resolve the issues you are facing.  A professional counsellor/psychotherapist is trained to see beneath the surface and help you identify what may be causing you concern.

  For practical psychology texts, visit...

 

Personal Development Counselling, and the Relationship Psychotherapy and Counselling Services — enable you to find ways to respond better (rather than react) when your buttons are pressed and provide more effective ways of relating with —

• spouses
• lovers
• friends,
• family,
• work colleagues... but
• primarily, yourself... a prerequisite for living well. 

 

Here are some issues to consider to help you achieve effective changes in your life:

• anger management
• anxiety reduction
• assertiveness training
• boundaries (establishing from the start)
• clear communication education
• compassionate consideration
• compatibility issues (do you and your partner both get what you want...)
• compulsions, obsessive compulsive behaviour
• contentment... what is it?
• depression and feeling depressed
• drug/alcohol dependence/abuse
• family dynamics (how your family influences you even as an adult)
• gay counselling, lesbian counselling
• happiness (attaining)
• internet, pornography addiction/compulsion
• relationships, intimacy & authentic feelings
• relaxation/creative visualisation
• same sex relationship issues
• self-confidence and self-esteem
• separation and divorce
• sexuality and sensuality
• transitions (life, work, relationships)
• trust issues

Counselling and Psychotherapy Sydney CBD sessions for individuals, couples (marriage, pre-marriage, straight, same sex — gay, lesbian and bisexual) include practical steps — concentrating on the "here-and-now" in order to cope with past issues, current difficulties and future anticipations. 

Past issues and incidents may be explored.
It is sometimes helpful to identify patterns and our REactions (based on past experiences) and learning—

• to respond rather than react,
• forward thinking and
• the art of possibility

These are, I believe, most helpful when we are facing issues and problems in our lives.

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See Testimonials for clients comments

... I have not looked back!
"I put a lot of it down to the way you helped me get a handle on things... I walked in, presented my case and was granted the extra 5% I wanted on top of what they'd offered, and guess what, nobody died!"  Female, 31

It was extremely useful ...
"The counselling/psychotherapy support offered by Phil really helped me examine issues and change attitudes that have improved my confidence, self-esteem and happiness."  Male 28

An Educating Experience...
"Life is challenging but I can make it a positive and rewarding challenge with help from the right people!.... Not only did Phil help me get back on my life path from which I had fallen off but he helped me to obtain this gift of knowledge I now have, and opened me to the human mind in ways I had never explored before. Andrea, 29

Counselling with Phil was the best thing I've done for myself in a long time...
"My counselling sessions were often challenging for me, but I found Phil easy to talk to, insightful and objective. He seemed to be able to judge my emotional and mental state and adjust his approach to suit me on that day... Now, I feel more satisfied with myself and have more realistic expectations of myself and others." Jonathan, 29

Move Forward...
"A man's pride often hinders him from asking, seeking or obtaining help in difficult and sometimes impossible situations.  Confidence and a sense of self can be eroded slowly and painfully without recognition until a physical reaction causes concern. This can have a incredibly negative effect on all facet's of life both professional and personal.

"I urge anyone to obtain a unbiased professional opinion to put things into perspective and find the tools to get back on top. I cannot recommend Choosing Change highly enough, do the smart thing and be honest and open about yourself and I am sure it will help you as much as it helped me. Move Forward."  Male 25

Read More Client Testimonials

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— Explore

Explore the pages on this site

• Individual Counselling
• Couples Counselling
• Marriage Counselling
• Pre-marital Counselling
• Gay & Lesbian Counselling
• Self-development Counselling
• Relationship Counselling

 

Look further on the

• Top Left Menu for general information about therapy and therapists.
• Side Menu on right for other specific topics of interest.

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— Living hopefully

During the counselling and coaching sessions we will focus on ways to encourage change.  You will contribute to this process, viewing the current situation (sometimes troubling
and/or despairing, sometimes just uncomfortable) and find ways to move toward choice and possibility. 

Working existentially in the "here-and-now" will hopefully lead to seeing and understanding things differently.   This will help you begin to live hopefully and compassionately toward the future. 

I used to go out with an old friend for dinner.  She would drive us all over Sydney to find interesting and cheap restaurants.  But Louise was a worrier, and she drove me mad with her negative outlook.  "We'll never get a park!" she would  exclaim before we even got
in the car. 

I never gave it a thought... 

Not being a driver I never had to give it a thought.  I was so used to getting on a bus
or a train or a taxi and getting out at the nearest place to wherever I was going that parking was the LAST THING ON MY MIND.

Something else "in" my mind...

What was on my mind was walking in the restaurant door starving and ready for a feed.   The funny thing was, whenever I got into a car with Louise, we ALWAYS got a parking spot near wherever we were going.  (I think I was unconsciously creating my own reality... that is, without even knowing it I was putting into practice the kind of things I talk about in counselling that help me realise my dreams and goals.)

"We'll never get a park!"

After a while Louise noticed we always got a park and would add to her "We'll never get a park!" the cryptic statement.. "Of course, with you in the car......" and she would leave the sentence unfinished.  I don't see Louise any more but I'd love to know if she is any better
at getting a park these days.

How important is meaning and intent, attitude and effect, when living hopefully...?

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Why being philosophical can help make you happier

Edith Wharton: (1862-1937)
If only we'd stop trying to be happy we'd have a pretty good time.

What did Socrates mean when he said... "An unexamined life is not worth living!"?

Seeking understanding is the beginning of change

Merely reading this indicates you are examining your life... presumably you have found you are searching for a greater understanding about either your life or your relationships or even the meaning of life.  Not to put too fine a point on it, I believe the very act of seeking understanding about our lives is possibly the meaning of life, as we know it.

What is happiness? 

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Your choice — The Ultimate Choice (is yours)

Your expectations can sometimes be your greatest hindrance.  This is the secret you have been wanting to know all your life.  And, although you didn't know it, it has been with you
all your life.  Maybe you do know it...

Making every day an adventure is the goal...

As a child I remember how exciting life was.  Every day was an adventure and sometimes every hour I discovered a new world.  Each experience brought me a bliss that seemed inevitable and  as perfect as I could imagine... until I began to expect things to always go that way... sometime around the age of five or six maybe.  Maybe even younger, I can't remember.  But I do remember that as I grew older and more mature my expectations were often the source of my frustrations.

I handle this today... using theory and practice to  —

• understand my mind holds the messages I send it,
• learn to let go my expectations,
• acknowledge my fears and negative thoughts,
• let those thoughts go
• focus on what I want, My Ultimate Choice,
• imagine that end result
• trust I have the abilities I need to get what I want,
• learn to live in the here-and-now.

I remember my Uncle Robert, who occasionally visited us (in our home in Christchurch, New Zealand), arriving one day with presents for us three kids.  We always looked forward to him coming, as unexpected and rare those occasions were, with great joy.   He eventually stopped coming.

But I still live in the hope that when Uncle Robert turns up he will have a present for me.  The fact is, as we never when to expect him, when he did arrive it was a surprise, as were the gifts.  Because we were not expecting him we never held an expectation that he or the gifts would arrive at any particular time. 

We lived in the happiness, without anxiety, that when our time came it would come...  realising we had no control over that time. 

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— Changing your life

• Feeling confident allows you to more successfully negotiate life transitions
• Assertiveness and self-confidence counselling to aid self-esteem
• Counselling, specialising  clear communication education
• Learning about boundaries to help you get want you want without losing
• Couple education helps you achieve and maintain successful relationships
• Pre-marriage Counselling helps you establish and maintain intimacy.
• Marriage or Couple Counselling to make it better for both of you.
• Relationships Counselling to help you find and keep a partner
• Depression Counselling where life's pressures and circumstances are taxing your ability to be real and enjoy the moment or enjoy future prospects
• Identifying life values assists you to make choices that reflect your goals.
• Gay and Lesbian Counselling will focus on the above as well as particular pressures present in the gay and lesbian community

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Couple and Marriage and Pre-Marriage Counselling   —  Relationship Counselling

Most of our time is spent in relationship with somebody... what smart couples know smartcouples is how to live together effectively.  First principle is that you are your first priority.   However, of all your relationships, your commitment to your intimate partner is probably one of the most important aspects of your life.  Find out how to changeyour attitudes toward your relationship.   Perhaps commitment to "self" makes a bigger splash in the relationship world.

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The trouble with email SMS and telephone conversations

It is very easy to get the wrong handle on things when with text messages or even speaking on the phone.  Non-verbal information exchanged during conversations is regarded to be more important than the words spoken. 

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EAP — Employee Assistance Programs

Sometimes a personal situation or issue will impinge on the employee's working effectiveness and that in turn can affect the workers around him/her and consequently have a marked negative effect on the business.

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Depression can be helped with CBT

In most people, feelings of sadness, unhappiness, and disappointment are as common as fun, enjoyment, satisfaction and happiness.  All of us experience a range and variety of emotions and feelings every day.  

If feelings of anxiety and unhappiness show up occasionally most of us cope.  But there is a marked difference between that so called "coping experience" and the crippling effects of long term, often undiagnosed, suffering of depression.

CBT certainly, usually tackles the surface or symptoms of depression (and other psychological uncomfortableness)... can it fully heal a person from the root causes of these issues? 

 

 

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Mindfulness Meditation and HABIT

Mindfulness plays a significant part in a counselling process where you will participate toward discovering different ways of being in your world. Mindfulness has varied meanings and my understanding of it is from a Buddhist tradition after the time of Lao Tzu (circa Fifth Century BC).

• Everyone suffers pain at some time in their life. 

• Everyone can discover the source of this pain. 

• Everyone can discover how to ease the pain. 

• Everyone can live a life freed from continued pain.

While none of us welcome the uncomfortable or hard or difficult things or people in our lives, hardly any of us can say they have not experienced those times.  What to do with that knowledge is what mindfulness talks about.  Your mind can activate ways of acting rather than REacting; responding rather than lashing out unthinkingly... I would also add that the lashing out is uncaring.

With practical Mindfulness you can learn to observe your REactions, changing the way you see these moments in your life — responding appropriately, effectively, more objectively.  Once this habit is learned (or old habits of reacting negatively changed) your attitude and outlook can be dramatically different.

  

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Happiness, depression and drug use

According to a report from The Australia Institute nearly a third of Australians use drugs (legal or illegal) in order to attain a state of comfortableness in their lives —

Drug and alcohol dependence can be helped by setting goals for reducing use, maintaining motivation to avoid situations (times, places, people) where alcohol and drugs are normally consumed and using new skills to established a balanced lifestyle.  Utilising news skills to reduce unhelpful behaviour works to attain this balance.

An aspect of drug and alcohol abuse that is often overlooked is the connection between that and depression.   Often, depression and drug abuse or reliance go hand-in hand.

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Brokeback Mountain... and gay and lesbian counselling

 

Some things require specialised counselling. Same sex relationshs are one of them.  Annie Proulx commented in a question-and-answer session after a screening of Brokeback Mountain (taken from her short story set in 1963, first published in The New Yorker in 1997) —

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USA spelling of Counseling — don't be confused... it is used interchangeably with counselling on this site.

 

Epistemology of the Closet

Epistemology of the Closet

 

Passionate Marriage by David M Schnarch

Passionate Marriage: Keeping Love and Intimacy Alive in Committed Relationships

• Médecins Sans Frontières
• International Fund for Animal Welfare
• Grassroots.org
• Save the Children Australia

 

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